Goodbye Kangaroos, Goodbye family, Goodbye Kurt Gidley

So turns out you can be a tad too laid back.

It was all going so well. I had had 4 great farewell parties, had managed to order all the gizmos and travel gear just in time (my camera was delivered about an hour before I left Bowral), and despite getting premature jetlag by staying up all night to pack my bag the night before, was ready for Europe. We got to the airport with plenty of time, I had made my way through the queue and reached a smiley lady at the Etihad check in desk.
It all kind of went wrong from there. She let me know that due to me only having a one way ticket, I needed proof I would leave Europe. Despite my attempts to allay her fears of me permanently moving to Finland by offering a pinky promise I'd come back, or by shouting Aussie Aussie Aussie to show my patriotism and obvious intent to return, she informed me I needed to have a ticket proving I'd leave Finland otherwise she couldn't check me in, as I'd just end up being turned back when I reached Helsinki anyway, and their airline would be fined.
Thanks christ for iPhones is all I'll say. I managed to find the site for the ferry from Finland to Sweden, get it printed, and check in with a whole 2 minutes to spare. Luckily this managed to avoid the 30 minutes of sitting around the airport while my mum and I got more and more choked up by the minute, making the Valium she popped that morning completely redundant by the time I left. I pretty much gave hugs on the run, my mum saying she loved me, my brother asking to borrow my computer, and my dad telling me how useless I was because of the whole almost missing my flight thing, and then zipped through customs and security and onto my flight.

I'm a pretty good flyer normally, but I'll be honest, this one was a little stressful, as I genuinely didn't know whether Europe would let me in. It was still great to get buzzed on free G and T's and sleeping pills and watch movies for a few hours, but I couldn't shake a feeling of doom once I reached the Finnish customs.
The flight was bloody long. Etihad is a good airline, but it doesn't matter how good the airline is, if you're in an economy seat for 28 hours, your life is going to suck. Although the one great feature were the toilets, that had a window. What a view! If you sit reverse cowgirl you could just gaze out into that vast yonder and really relax, although I imagine the more skittish people on the plane were probably paranoid of being spotted by the canny person on another plane who brought a pair of binoculars to accompany their window seat.
Anyway, D day approached, and I eventually arrived at Helsinki airport. I was pretty stressed at this stage, but had my pitiful gmail receipt for my 20 Euro ferry ride, and had a travel agent back in Aus booking me a flight out of Europe that would come through any moment, so I was a little hopeful. Anyway, I tried to go through their customs, but for some reason they shooed me away. The Finnish gentleman informing me I had to go get my bags first. So I headed to baggage claim, and got my bags, and then headed through the door marked "Nothing to Declare"and then...........
Fucking nothing, There was my friend Jannica, wondering why I looked so confused. They didn't even check my passport. They didn't even check my bag. I'm not judging too much from this, but as far as I can tell, Finland doesn't give a shit who comes into their country or what they bring!
It later occurred to me that I had actually checked into Europe at my stop in Germany, where I had a much harder time getting in:
German border guy: "Vy are you here?"
Caedyn: "Tourism"
German border guy: "Vell I hope you enjoy Europe"

Nice one Australia. Not only do you enjoy playing big brother in your own country, you also try and do it when Aussie's briefly escape your iron grip and journey into the free world. You know what, fuck it. I only got a one way ticket. I'm staying in Finland forever!*


*Note: For any notoriously humourless immigration officials reading this, this was a joke. I won't stay in Finland forever, and will leave on a ferry within a week. I mean if I were going to stay anywhere forever it'd be Spain or France.....